By Jeffrey Blackwell
Democrat and Chronicle

(Sunday, January 27, 2002) -- The economics of raising children can be as hair-raising as childbirth, the terrible 2's or dealing with a rebellious teenager.

Those who are contemplating parenthood should know that it not only takes love, understanding, patience and more than a little psychology to raise a baby. It takes money.

According to the latest figures from the Children's Defense Fund, parents on average will spend between $121,230 and $241,770 to raise a child to the age of 18. Those figures do not include college or inflation.

Like buying a new house or car, it is wise to prepare the family budget for a new member. Identifying the costs early and planning for them can make decisions easier on everything from child care to choosing a new crib.

"People do not like to equate money with human life," said Jean W. Bauer, professor of family social sciences at the University of Minnesota. "However, those that do have a much smoother transition into this thing called parenthood."

Diapers and formula are the obviously daily needs of a baby. But what parents should prepare for is outfitting and supporting a new person. Children need clothes, a place to sleep, toys, doctor visits and a dozen products to keep skin smooth, rashes away, fevers down and bodies clean. For many, day care is another essential.

According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, supporting a new child will cost on average between $6,280 and $13,000 a year. Parents of premies, multiple births and children with medical problems often face higher costs.

"I tried to mentally prepare myself for this," said Eric Schaeffer, 35, a new father from Victor. "But when it came down to physically going to the stores, signing the bottom of the receipt and the payment plans, that's when I realized that we were outfitting a new person."

Family economists recommend that parents look at their spending habits and how a new child will alter those figures. A child also represents a $2,900 federal tax exemption.

The Department of Agriculture compiles a list of average costs for different stages in a child's life. Bauer said parents can use those numbers as a guide to predict costs.

"Choices abound, and these choices have direct impact on the actual out-of-pocket costs that you have for children as well as the long-term stability of the family," Bauer said.

Schaeffer and wife Lisa adjusted their budget before their daughter, Lindsey, was born three months ago. They saved money to prepare for the loss of Lisa's income during a portion of her maternity leave. They also tried to be sensible when buying baby furniture and clothing.

"I went through sticker-shock and said 'holy cow' and a few other choice words about the cost of furniture, how much the little outfits cost and how quickly she outgrows them," Eric Schaeffer said. "Everybody tells us not to succumb to how cute it looks, because she only may get to wear it once or twice, and make it practical because she can't tell the difference."

Child care is the largest expense. Full-day child care can cost between $4,000 and $10,000 a year, between $80 and $200 a week. Up to 30 percent of the expense can be tax-deductible.

Jason and Jennifer Hagen of Irondequoit have two sons -- Davis, 4, and Zachary, 2 months. The couple said the cost of day care was a critical consideration when they decided to have a second child -- and why they will probably not have a third.

"We basically sat down not to decide if we should have another child, but when," said Jason, 30. "Our decision was based on 95 percent economics. And most of that was because of the cost of day care."

Stay-at-home parents are not the majority anymore. Three out of five young children nationwide are in day care, according to the Children's Defense Fund.

Leslie Lazar, a local member of Mothers & More, a national support group for stay-at-home parents, said parents have to balance the value of two incomes with the cost of child care and the advantages of staying home.

Hagan and his wife prepared spreadsheets to see if Jennifer could stay home. In the end, they needed both incomes to stay afloat.

"We could not do it and still pay our student loans, afford the house and still have two cars," Jason said.

Mary Spurrier, a certified financial planner, said practicing good budget fundamentals is important to maintaining overall financial stability. She said saving money and staying away from credit-card debt are two of the most important fundamentals.

Spurrier said financial stability is important today because many people are waiting longer to have children. Other issues, including retirement and the cost of caring for older parents, also can press on the family budget. Parents can do their children a favor by looking out for their own future as well as the future of their children, she said.

"One the biggest mistakes that parents make is concentrating on paying for a college education and putting their retirement on hold," Spurrier said. "So my quip is that if you don't save for your retirement, you are going to have to move in with your kids."